I’m a lover and a fighter. I do both. You come for me I come for you! Life has taught me to know when to fight and when to step back and breathe. The struggle is still very real though…

What can be done to fix this? Should I be strong or should I cry it out? We cannot win the emotional debate of how to handle situations. When your heart is broken you just ‘have to be strong and move on,’ they tell us! Don’t cry lest they consider you weaker than they already find you.

But what do you then do when you’re having a bad day, week, month or year? Do you hold it in and prance the world smiling or do you shed a visible tear?

Is it okay to not be okay?!? 

Is it okay to still be confused and upset and not now how to deal with these lemons? 

When people say you can open up to them is that really what they mean or are they being emotionally cordial? Am I rude for choosing to make you uncomfortable because I need your left shoulder to lean on? 

How do we one day mean everything and then the next day nothing! 

Women: we struggle to let go because we want affirmation. Some sort of evidence to show him we weren’t so bad and the work we did was not in vain. It’s never in vain. Dont give that guy that beat you power over you because you’re confusing your separation with failure. Nah, you never failed. Even if it took an unexpected turn, Mami you did your part. Walk away now…figure it out on the side lines. He put that pain in your life and taught you to believe he is the antidote. The heavy stench of proof is in his initial treatment of you not what he keeps promising to do.

Hate him, love him, be confused by this one day amazing one day annoying human being without shame. It’s fine that you don’t have the answers right now. You don’t have to be Princess Perfect by throwing yourself back in the fire. If it burnt you once it will burn you again.

In the words of Toni Braxton, Let it go and Let it Flow. Water flows in all directions. Your emotions are here today, the next day they’re  there. That’s okay.

……….Let it flow……………

You’ll love this piece on Emotional Awareness by Seeds 4 Life:




  1. Things Tinashe Says


    This is profound.

    • Esther Kat


      Matters of the heart. Thank you love..

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