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Picture by: Esther A Kat

Happy April! I type this while staring at an empty plate of (mind vacuum) I don’t even know what I just ordered! It looked good on the menu and my palate agrees. I haven’t had a chance to really savor a meal in the longest time. I have to admit that I ate too much. I was the definition of starving and might have gotten a bit carried away. Now comes the mental struggle to get back into shape which I promised myself I would do once I had a break from my normal work routine. How is that going so far? It’s not going, at all…..[sighs]

Any-who, I never left the comfort of home to pay for an overpriced salad and a slow internet connection. I woke up one morning to a message from someone dear to me saying they felt depressed. I had no idea what to say. In my confusion I asked if they were joking. Dumb, I know, but I don’t know how to remind people that the earth is still sunflowers and bunnies when sometimes it’s not that clear.
There are about 10 billion people on the earth. I haven’t checked the stats lately but that’s the last number I heard. It’s overwhelming! At home, at work, with friends I have a name and I am PRESENT. In the street, in the mall, on my bus rides home (not as glamorous as it sounds) I am just one more person. I had no answer to that question because I’d been feeling like a ‘stat’ for a while.

There is a reason we crave attention and fame. Like it or not only famous people don’t want to be famous. You want to walk into a room and have people know your name and acknowledge you. Not in an obsessive way, I hope. You want to feel like you’re the ‘stat’ that counts. You don’t want to be the card that loses the game you want to be part of the Royal Flush.

So I don’t know the right thing to tell you who doesn’t feel important or is drowning in the routine of being part of the human-race, but: You have to know that your presence is valuable. It’s not for someone else to know it for you or to remind you. You have to know it for yourself…
We’ve all had moments when we questioned our purpose. This was me at 23! It was strenuous and exhausting. Many days I never felt like it was worth it. But it is worth it. You just have to hold on a little bit longer to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Your presence is important to me!

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